I delivered a workshop to graduate students on one of my favorite campuses this past Sunday morning. It was a perfect early fall day. Since my participants were giving up part of their weekend, I knew they would be eager to learn as much as they could in our short time together!

Their concerns ranged from the general ("how can I feel less nervous/more in control when I speak?") to the specific ("what three steps can I use to build a good and clear question when I attend a roundtable or other speaking event?"). I spent most of my time addressing their common concerns about nerves, focus, and control. To the student who asked how to frame a question, I regretted that I couldn't give him three sure-fire steps that worked universally, as these would doubtless be specific to the occasion.

But on the train ride back to New York, this question bounced around in my head. And I have come up with three general steps to make sure you ask a good question every time you attend a speech event or panel with built-in Q & A time:
1) Before you go, ask yourself why you are going. What do you want/need to hear from this expert? What advice/enlightenment do you expect to glean? Is there anything specific they can help you with?
2) At the event, take notes. Not only does this help you stay engaged as an active listener, you will likely find that you have circled, underlined, or otherwise identified the very point that needs clarification, follow-up, etc.
3) When your opportunity to speak approaches, you need to breathe and stay centered. So you can ask the question you intend to ask effectively, maintaining clarity and focus after to actually hear the answer. (This would have given me the perfect way to circle back to the instruction and exercises I had already delivered: how to speak with authentic presence! )

I love working with students and clients who aren't afraid to ask me questions that might seem outside the scope of our session. It makes me think. And I would wager I'm not alone. So - whether you can feel more comfortable with my three steps, or have your own method for how to frame a query, keep asking!