I had the unique experience last week of watching a public Zoom reading of my latest play, Saltwater Farm. It’s a feeling not unlike waving goodbye to your kids when you drop them off at college: you’ve done your best, now let’s see how they develop under others’ influence. Your power to make big change is limited, but you can observe and offer adjustments. And one observation I offered to the director was that some of the actors were falling into the very human trap of picking up on each other’s pacing while speaking. As a playwright I try hard to give each character their own rhythm, as a tool to create individual voices. But actors are extremely empathetic people, so I am always passing a note to the director to ask actors to “keep the pace up” or “take your time here”— depending on what the character and situation calls for. Because there is nothing more boring that a scene where everyone is speaking in the same rhythm, whether it is collectively fast or slow.

By contrast, when we want to establish rapport in real-life conversation, verbal mirroring is actually a very effective tool. It has been studied a lot over the years. I blogged about this ‘way back in October 2015. This mirroring is something we often do instinctively or subconsciously. And though it can offer a shortcut for establishing connection, it isn’t always a good thing: I have noted lately clients on group calls pick up on the most annoying vocal tics of whoever is “you know”-ing or “so”-ing the loudest. Be sure you’re aware of that; you really to need to fight against giving into the impulse!

The Communication Accommodation Theory I cited back in 2015 breaks this concept of adapting to our conversation partners into two strategies: convergence and divergence. Convergence is connecting through mirroring, using similar tone, pace, and vocabulary. I call it “speaking the same language.” It is an effective, quick way to engage people. And it leads to better understanding. Divergence is about the differences in word usage and rhythm, the disconnection that some may use to reinforce hierarchy, or establish perceived superiority. It is usually not a helpful tool as it often leads to conflict. But very useful for playwrights!

I still stand by my previous advice to avoid overuse of mirroring. You need to find your own voice and use it. But if you differ too much in your speaking you risk not being understood. So don’t go overboard. Unless you’re intentionally taking a conversational path to drama!

Photo: Top, left to right: Stephen Strosnider, Irenka Jakubiak, Joanna Parson
Bottom, left to right: Erica Logsdon, Jackie Maruschak reading “Saltwater Farm” on Zoom