I spend a lot of my time debunking myths about public speaking. I can't believe that in 2017 some of these are still being passed off as "conventional wisdom" to unsuspecting clients, but I have had to undo their effects too many times! Those of you who have been reading me over the years know how I feel about this. But just in case you need a refresher, here are the two things you need to stop doing TODAY to be a better speaker:
Myth #1: Always start with a joke! I think this is the worst piece of advice anyone can give you. In fact, I would immediately be suspicious of whoever tells you to do this. Because if you start by telling a joke you will almost certainly fail. You can see my various takes on why this is such a bad idea here, here and most recently, here. Even professional comedians sometime bomb. And since all humor is culturally-specific, your joke will either offend or be misunderstood by a high percentage of the audience. Even back in the old days, when everyone guffawed at jokes told at Rotary luncheons, there were those who didn't really "get" them. They may have laughed along because it was expected, but the humorous misfires didn't lead to any bonding, or establish the speaker's credibility. Quite the opposite.
Myth #2: Always try to read your audience. Really? There are too many "experts" out there who can help you "read" your audience. That is nonsense. And a waste of your valuable time. I have written about why in posts here and here. To give you the highlights, though: people are bundles of contradictions. The idea that you can delve into the innermost thoughts and feelings of a relative stranger while you are conveying your message in a meaningful way is ludicrous. Again, our example of professional stand-up comedians is instructive. They do need to be able to "read" their audiences, and so they spend considerable time honing this specific skill. Why? Because they are in the business of entertainment. You're not. You have a message to deliver, not jokes. You do need to engage your listeners, but if you focus on their moment-to-moment reactions you are not fully serving your message. And let's be honest: how many of us can accurately "read" our nearest and dearest, let alone a roomful of strangers?
